September 13, 2020 | 15th Sunday after Pentecost | Love’s Final Words |Matthew 18:21-35 | Pastor Norma Johnson

Love’s Final Words

Today we have a sequel to last week’s text from Matthew.  And this week we hear about forgiveness.  So, let me emphasize that the word “forgiveness” means to send off, to hurl away, to let go, or to leave behind, whatever it is that keeps us bound.

This morning I share with you a short exercise to help us understand today’s text.  I follow that we a few scenarios and finally with closing comments.

So first, this short exercise:  I invite you to think of the worst thing that has ever happened to you or, of something for which you feel guilty, … or hurtful … or resentful.

It could be something that happened this very morning or something that happened many years ago . . .

See the event in your mind, see again what happened, hear again the words, the sounds, the actions.

Now, I want you to take that event and put it in an imaginary box, let’s make it a dark gray box.  Wrap that box with strong bailing twine.  And, as you pull it tight, listen to the twine as it squeaks.

Now, tie it in a firm knot . . .

Then picture yourself out on a lake – in your favorite boat; or standing on a bridge over your favorite river.

Now, throw the box into the water.  Watch it as it hits the surface.  Hear the splash that it makes, watch it sink . . . and hear again the words: “In the name of Christ, you are forgiven!”

Our Gospel lesson for today tells us that forgiveness is important in our lives whether we are the victim or the wrongdoer.

Forgiveness is important . . .  But too many times we are like the man who was walking down a country road with a heavy sack thrown over his shoulder.  Another man came by with a horse and wagon and offered the man a ride.  So, the man with the sack got into the wagon and after going along for several minutes the driver looked back.  He was startled to see that the man with the sack was sitting there in the wagon with the sack still on his shoulder.

The driver said to him: “The wagon is going to carry the sack anyway, why don’t you put down your load and let the wagon do the work?”

But he continued to carry the load.

To continue to carry a load of guilt or resentment is like the man in the wagon.  It is to carry a very heavy load, needlessly.  And, yes, it occupies much of our energy – energy that we could be using for better things.

Sonja was a good example.  One of my colleagues told me about her.  She was an older person who had experienced many hardships in her life; many more than anyone deserves.  But the trouble with Sonja was that she could never forget those hardships – or forgive those who had done her wrong.  Every time that she was visited, she would proceed to recount her tale of woe.  She was what another person has called a historical person.

Yes, that’s right, “historical” – not “hysterical”.  She was caught up in her own history.

Now, that is not to say that it does not help to tell our story when in times of stress – and sometimes, we need to tell our story over and over again – it does mean, however, that until we can forgive ourselves – and others – we will always be historical persons.

Sonja couldn’t forgive and she became a very bitter person – and eventually, she drove her family and friends away.

Yes, unforgiving attitudes have their cost.  We know the importance of throwing away our hurts and our resentments; but we often find it difficult to do just that – even with trivial things.

  • One of the reasons for this difficulty is that we don’t know how to deal with the hurt in our lives. The first thing that we want to do is fight back.
  • Another response is to withdraw and throw up a wall of protection around ourselves so that it won’t happen again.  But in doing so, we are isolating ourselves from a part of the world and our own world becomes much smaller.
  • We have trouble forgiving, too, because it somehow flies in the face of fairness and justice. Things sometimes happen in life that just aren’t fair – and to be forgiving seems to say it really doesn’t matter that much.
  • And sometimes the difficulty we experience with forgiveness is that we have integrated a wrong or resentment into our lives and forgiveness would require us to change.

It’s like another person who was wearing a heavy winter coat on a nice warm day and a friend asked this person why in the world she didn’t take your coat off.

She replied with these words: “Because it feels too good when I take my coat off.”

Historical Sonja made bitterness so much a part of her life that she could not rid herself of it.  It required too much to change.  It might have felt “too good”.

In a way, the passage we read today from Matthew is not good news.  The story about the king who forgave – and the servant who did not – and how the servant was called back – and the debt was restored – and the servant sent to jail!

And, remember how Jesus concludes the parable by saying: “That is how my Father in heaven will treat every one of you unless you forgive your brother or sister (or self) from your heart.”

Well, it sounds as if God’s forgiveness is dependent upon our forgiving others, doesn’t it?

So, how can we understand this thing called forgiveness?  It’s the same as if we were to give a gift to a child . . . a gift to be shared . . . like a bag of candy.  And when the child hoards it all for themselves . . . and never shares it as it was intended …  our inclination is to take it back, isn’t it?

Could it be that God’s forgiveness is the same way?  Could it be that God has already forgiven us and expects us to be forgiving people?  Could it be that forgiveness of ourselves becomes empty when it is not extended to others – or vice versa?  That forgiveness of others becomes empty when it is not extended to ourselves?

This is heavy stuff.  But remember the man we follow?  Remember how at the end of his life, as he hung there on that cross, Jesus prayed to God, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”

Folks, that means that forgiveness was Jesus’ “final word of love.”  As he let go of his life, he let go of resentment and pain.

When you and I realize the extent to which God has already forgiven us, we cannot but forgive others.  As bad and as terrible a thing as someone might have done to us, or as guilty as we may feel about something that we may have done, Jesus gave the ultimate for us there on that cross.

So, it seems to me that to be unwilling to forgive – be it ourselves or others – is to be unwilling to accept what God has done for us in Jesus Christ.  It is to reject the good news and to be hardened against it.  I believe that Jesus is saying here that if we refuse to forgive, we are also refusing to be forgiven.

I remind you, then, that “In the name of Christ, we are forgiven.”  So, go, therefore, and honor His name – by forgiving ourselves and those who have wronged us.  In other words, go …, and be …, and live …, and do, … and speak … “love’s final word.”

Amen.

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